You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
