bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
