...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize