Do you still have your period?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
