my mouth tastes like poor choices
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
