it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
