How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
