I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
