Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize