We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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