I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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