Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
