Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
