i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The air taste purple.
Randomize