oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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