Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
