Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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