I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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