I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
