Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
