I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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