Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
