You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
