awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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