I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
