he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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