no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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