just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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