who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
