Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
