Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
