i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
