please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
