Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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