This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
