Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
These tits shall not be calmed
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
