thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
