Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
