the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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