Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
