we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
