D3 body, D1 cock
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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