I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
