Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
