Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
