I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
