This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
