He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
