Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
