i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize