Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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