in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
