seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
