I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
