I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
