***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
