She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
