I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
