names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
