Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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