im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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