If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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