Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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