The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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