Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize