Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
