this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize